Do I disappoint Jesus?

Dis-appoint: to fail to meet the expectation and hope of someone.

Did St. Peter disappoint Jesus? I don't think so - I'm pretty sure St. Peter disappointed himself. After all, Jesus knew Peter was going to botch everything up and deny him. Peter was naively insistent that he would never do such a thing. Jesus does not have his hope in us, no, we have our hope in him - and he never disappoints. 

Of course, this doesn't mean that our sins have no effect on the Lord. Just take a look at the crucifix. Ouch. The beautiful, amazing, incomprehensible thing is that Jesus is NOT disappointed that he hung on that cross. Rather, he aches and wishes that we would stop worrying about the fact that we can't do anything to get him down, and just let him love us. 

He died so that we can get back up again every time we fall. If we place ourselves in his heart, well then, we don't have to worry about disappointing ourselves - because we won't put ourselves so dang high in the first place. 

As my grandma says: Get off your high horse! And, just let him love you.

Jesus hung out with sinners, why can't I? (or should I?)

Some people find themselves in a dilemma when they are trying to pull away from a lifestyle that was threatening to pull them down away from the Lord, and yet they know and love those that they use to call "family."  Friends are important, but they don't always think like us and love the things we love. How do we draw the line between "hanging out with sinners" like Jesus, and protecting our own call to holiness?

First of all, we must remember that we are not perfect, but we are called to be perfect. This makes the presented dilemma totally legitimate. So, here are few guidelines you might find useful for yourself or your child when deciding to "go or not to go." 

1. Pray. Before Jesus went into public ministry, he always prayed. After spending a lot of time with people, he prayed. Personally I'm convinced that with his friends he also prayed. I'm sure Mary, Martha, Lazarus, and Jesus prayed often. Before you go out and when you come home - pray. Something simple. Something honest. 

2. Lean on someone. You don't need a whole bunch, but a few - absolutely. When you want to go out, but you have your doubts (especially after prayer) whether it is good for your soul - call one of these people up and do something with them. Stay busy, enjoy yourself, be creative. Jesus went to the homes of sinners, but those who refused to convert - he always loved, was never mean - but he spent his free time with the likes of the apostles and Mary and Martha. 

3. Admit. Let your friends know why you aren't going, and admit it to yourself. You may be surprised when the others change their mind. Jesus was no softy. He said what needed to be said, always with the intention of doing the Will of his Father and helping the others to see the truth. Sometimes the other caved, sometimes they went away stubbornly.

4. Charity above all Else. Sometimes we are called into tough or uncomfortable situations. Or maybe we find ourselves in a place that is a lot of fun -but a temptation. Well, repeat steps 1 to 3. Still there - check your motivation and love. Jesus was with the sinner - because it is the sinner that needs him. He was there to bring love and to respect their dignity - the tax-collector, prostitute, adulterer, pharisee, etc. He wasn't there to have fun (simply) or to forget his cares or deny his purpose and mission.

5. Pray. Lean on someone. Admit. Charity above all Else. Place yourself in the hands of God. 

Why is getting drunk a serious (read mortal) sin?

Jesus' first public miracle was turning water into wine at the bequest of his mother. We know that for

thousands of years people have drank of the vine, and in colder climants beer did the trick. There is something warming in a shot of whisky, or brandy, or grappa (italian bootleg). Alcohol - in and of itself - is not at question here. The question is to what extent is it morally permissible to imbibe? 

It depends on the person. I know some who blush just looking at a glass of wine, and others who don't seem phased by a whole bottle (ok, half a bottle). The golden standard doesn't exist. How often have I heard, from an unrepentant young person a few days after a party, "I only had three."  Well, my friend, next time have one or two. 

Drinking relaxes you. But, then you become super serious, or extra chatty. Your head "buzzes" with that familiar sensation you like so much. Your reactions a bit slow (shoot). You are crossing the line. You know it. You need to stop, and yet you take a look - a whole ice chest full of cold beers. Rum and Coke. Whatever. But, see,  you've already damaged your ability to choose prudently (otherwise, you wouldn't have spilled that last beer). You've already had too much, but you "reason" and take another one. 

It is a mortal sin if done intentionally. If you're not drinking to get drunk, but it happens anyway, it is likely a lesser sin. If this is habitual, well then, you're back up to grievous. It is no small matter. 

Why? It doesn't hurt anyone (usually). It feels good (until the next morning). Etc. The answer is simple: you are intentionally flooding the most precious gift you have to offer God with intoxicating chemicals. Your REASON (the ability to judge) and your WILL (your ability to choose) are impaired by excessive alcohol, and your innate image of God is washed in booz. 

That's why you may not be culpable for the stupid things you do while drunk, but you are culpable for being drunk in the first place, risking stupid sins, undermining your most precious assets, and putting pleasure and the flesh above obedience and love. Its a stark reality. The mortal sin lies in being drunk - even if you go to sleep immediately in your own home. 

Rather than upset you, let this remind you of the immense value of your reason and will. Let this mirror the beauty and sanctity of your whole person working together, the higher powers commanding the lower powers, for the glory of God. It just isn't possible when you're drinking too much. Period. 

So, enjoy that glass of wine. Savor that bottle of beer. Delight in that shot of tequila. Then use your God given reason and will and stop. 

If you can't stop, my friend, it is the time to not even start and to get help if needed.